Day 24 - There Are No Gatekeepers

 

I remember this day vividly - Wednesday, March 27th, 2013. I was sitting in my office at work when my phone rang. It was a non-Rutgers number that I didn’t recognize.

I answered it on the second ring. When I answered, the young man introduced himself, saying he was given my name by a former FDU friend of mine, Joe Paris, who now works in admissions at Temple University. The gentleman on the other end went on to say how we was looking to enroll in graduate programs and when he visited Temple that morning, he met Joe. While visiting Temple, Joe told him that he was unsure if this was the right program for him and he was still unsure of his career path.

That’s when Joe told him to connect with me. Well, this young man, Shyam Bhoraniya, got on his phone and started finding ways to get in touch with me. When Shyam explained this story to me on the phone, I was super impressed by his ambition. He took the initiative to not only immediately look up who I was, he searched for a phone number to make a personal connection. Shyam had such a great story and personality that he convinced me to meet him that same evening for coffee since he was going to be on campus.

While we talked face to face, I could see the passion in his eyes to make a difference in the world. Shyam shared stories of how he traveled to India to help young children, what he wanted to accomplish in the field of social work, and how he was working to motivate others. I then shared my vision to end employment unhappiness for college students and some projects I was working on with The Niche Movement. My vision resonated with Shyam and he wanted to help out in anyway.

As I drove home that evening from the initial introduction with Shyam, I knew that there was a reason I picked up the phone earlier that day. Meeting Shyam, led to so many other opportunities for the both of us.

A week later, Shyam and I spoke and I mentioned what I was doing with the 6 week Niche Movement cohort and I told him that the last week was focused on motivation and following your passion. On the side, Shyam was working on a passion project called Motivate My Day, a daily newsletter and social media account to inspire others. I knew his experience and the skill set he had in his early-twenties would add value to the students in this program. I invited him to do an online guest lecture on motivation as well as how to get through the “gatekeepers.”

Gatekeepers, in the world of job hunting or launching an initiative, are the people or things that control access to something or someone getting noticed. In Shyam’s world, there are no gatekeepers.

Later in the spring of 2013, Courtney and I came across WOW Talks, a community of people (started in London) that love what they do and are given a platform to share their passion from a variety of disciplines (10 min or less TED style talks & more informal). We found out that there was going to be the first WOW Talks held in the United States in New York City that May, so we bought tickets to attend. About a week out from the event, Shyam and I were talking and I told him about this event. By coincidence, he said he was attending the same event.

Shyam using his skills to connect with anyone, was already in touch with the founder, Gal Stiglitz. That night, Shyam helped anyway he could with the event and introduced us to Gal and several of the speakers. Throughout the summer of 2013, Shyam and I stayed in touch and we continued to talk about the WOW Talks. He knew that an event like this could succeed in the Rutgers/New Brunswick area and benefit college students. With some networking and ambition, Shyam partnered with Stephanie Cywnar, graduate student for the Student Life leadership office, to get the ball rolling on planning an event.

A few months later with the hard work of Shyam and Stephanie, they launched a WOW Talks event in November 2013 revolving around the theme of Education and Start-Ups. Because the theme connected with my efforts with helping young adults find their niche, I was invited to be one of the featured speakers and deliver a 10 minute speech. I have been very grateful for this opportunity to share my message with another 100+ students and help them connect the dots for their future.

Since November, Shyam and I have stayed in touch, periodically updating each other about one another’s endeavors and accomplishments. Today, as luck would have it, on the day I am featuring him, the two of us finally caught up and had lunch. We hadn’t seen each other in four months and one hour wasn’t enough to re-connect. However, I learned that Shyam is now going to be helping WOW Talks as their North America Events Coordinator to help spread them throughout the United States.

What They Taught Me:

There are very few people in my network that are as great at getting through the gatekeepers and connecting with others as Shyam. He has taught me a lot about myself, has connected me with influential people, and offered significant helpful advice. When I reflect on the 16 months I have know him, he has taught me that momentum is key and that hard work pays off.

How They Inspired Me:

Shyam has been a great sound board for me and has the ability to listen to several ideas at a time. I see the opportunities he has created for himself from all of the networking he has done and his fearless can-do attitude. This alone has inspired me to take risks and not be afraid to pick up the phone and connect with someone new. I learned, the worst that can happen is they say no.

#NicheTip:

When Shyam was given my name and told about The Niche Movement, many people would have either brushed it aside or put it off for a day, a week, or a month. The majority of those that take the next step to reach out will often send one email. Unfortunately, it’s easy to not reply to emails so they will often get buried in inboxes. With the resources available to us and access to anyone’s digital identity, it is easier now more than ever to find a way to stand out and get noticed.  Send a note through LinkedIn, tweet at someone, find their phone number and give them a call. Be persistent and don’t be afraid of the gatekeepers because they no longer exist.

Day 23 - 3 Ways to Tell Your Story in a Noisy World

In yesterday’s day 22 post, I talked about cheerleaders (supporters) vs activators (take action and share a message) and the role they play in spreading a movement. The three people I am about to introduce in today’s post will attest to the importance of activators in each of their initiatives.

First, let me start by introducing Noah Rosenberg, the founder of Narratively, whohad an idea to slow down storytelling and go against the grain to focus on the untold human stories and not the next big headline. I met Noah in January 2013, during a weekend retreat where we both were invited to help Rutgers’ students develop their Ignite talks (a 5 minute speech with auto advancing slides) for an upcoming leadership conference. Noah had a passion and skill set for finding stories and was a huge asset to help these eight students craft their message they would then deliver in front of 200 of their peers.

When Noah and I connected to discuss both of our initiatives, I remember the first impression I had of him (and Narratively) was sleek and simple. His business card stood out because it was well designed, clean, and printed on a matte card that was thicker than usual. Come to find out, that design carried over to Narratively’s approach to storytelling as well as their website (it was selected as one of the Top 50 Websites in TIME magazine.)  His calm, but passionate demeanor about storytelling was magnetic. Everything about him made me realize he had found his niche. I knew his skills and journey to finding his niche could impact young adults so I followed up to invite him to be our first “Tell Us Your Story” (now #NicheStory) guest.

With no questions asked, Noah agreed and we hosted our first 30 minute google hangout interview where he shared his ‘post-collegiate’ journey. Noah had a love for journalism, but after working for several large news outlets like CBS and the New York Times, it was time for him to follow his dreams and start Narratively. The best advice he shared during our interview is that “you can network from behind your computer, but it doesn’t compare to being out in the real world meeting people.”

Now that I had one #NicheStory interview down, I had to follow it up with someone who was just as dynamic and had a compelling story in their “post-graduate” life. Luckily, in February 2013, I was introduced to Michael DuDell when I attended a conference at Rutgers. Since college, Michael has built quite a name for himself. He has worked with Seth Godin on the Domino Project, is a TEDx speaker, entrepreneur, and author of the official Shark Tank book that was released in November 2013.

When I interviewed him for The Niche Movement, Michael’s message to Gen Y is that they need to find a career that moves them and that the number one skill employers are looking for is a good “attitude.” Since our interview, Michael has befriended both Courtney and I, and has been an invaluable link in moving our careers forward. He has graciously done everything from introducing us to several other colleagues in his network to hosting my student media team last August in his office at WeWork in New York City. In the last 18 months, having the pleasure of knowing Michael, I have realized he is a connector who wants to see people that are making a name for themselves succeed - especially Gen Y.

Last, I need to introduce one of the most engaging speakers I have heard speak in a long time: Dawn Fraser. Dawn, is a speaker, humorist, and like Noah and Michael, a storyteller. She is also the host and creator of BarberShop stories. Dawn and I met after I heard her speak at a leadership conference that Courtney organized in the winter of 2013 at Rutgers.

Dawn believes every college student has a story to tell, but it’s how you tell it that matters. Whether it is a storytelling 101 workshop or learning how to sell your message, I have seen Dawn deliver high impact presentations.

When I launched my six week cohort in the spring of 2013, one of the sessions was about ‘telling your story’. After meeting Dawn at Rutgers, I reached out to her a few weeks later and mentioned that one of my students in the cohort wanted to improve her storytelling and interview her. Without hesitation, Dawn agreed and ran a 45 minute online workshop for my cohort - this was an amazing add-on benefit she added to my program. In the last year, Dawn has grown her brand, delivered several presentations nationwide, and I was lucky to connect with her again when we both spoke at the first WOW Talks event held in New Jersey in November 2013.

What They Taught Me:

Noah, Michael, and Dawn have taught me that if you have a vision and a platform, you can spread your story with the world. All three of these amazing individuals have taken a unique path to get to where they are today, but they have capitalized on their past experiences - something I have been reflecting on during this entire 30 day journey. They also taught me, that the majority people out there are caring people, especially those that have found their niche. I took a chance to follow up and reach out to all of them, and they more than willingly all said yes to be activators for the Niche Movement’s launch.

How They Inspired Me:

Like I have alluded to, they all have been more than generous with their time, but they share the same vision: to see twenty-somethings lead a happy life after college. At a young age, they have certainly made a name for themselves, but I know it is just the beginning for Noah, Dawn, and Michael. They all share very similar personality and values that align with who I am and I know that with hard work and following my passion, I can accomplish great things like they have so far.

Noah, thank you being our first guest, for sharing your passion for genuine storytelling, and excellent advice to twenty-somethings.

Michael, thank you for your advice, for your brilliant personality, and for always willing to help Courtney and I out in our journey.

Dawn, you have been an very gracious with your time and have been a true inspiration as I grow The Niche Movement. Thank you for being an amazing speaker and for truly caring about young adults telling their story.

#NicheTip:

Whether you are just starting college or just graduated and making it in the real world, find time to reflect on your stories. Somewhere down the road, they will be invaluable stories that you will share on interviews, with your friends, and family. With today’s technology and noise, it is especially important to find creative ways to spread your story. Michael, Noah, and Dawn are a perfect example, I suggest you connect with them.

Day 22 - Activators vs. Cheerleaders: How to Find the Action Oriented Supporters in Your Network

In the first few months when I started The Niche Movement in January 2013, I had a growing number of supporters and advocates that initiated some early outreach. One advocate that really stands out and still supports my vision to this day is Katie Bean. I met Katie in 2006-07 when I started visiting Courtney in graduate school at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. They were both in the same student affairs program and became really close friends.

Upon earning her masters degree, Katie moved to Washington, DC in 2008 where she worked as the Assistant Director of Alcohol and Drug Education for three years. Katie is one of those people who has huge heart and believes in what she does in her job. She has a vision where every college student is properly educated and supported to make healthy lifestyle choices thus leading to a healthier and safer campus.

In 2011, Katie found a new opportunity and moved back to her hometown of Philadelphia where she took a job as the Assistant Director of Student Outreach at St. Joseph's University. In this role, she provides wellness, alcohol, and drug education, support, and programming. Part of her job at St. Joe’s is to lead a group of peer educators that are advocates for responsible lifestyles and link the campus to her office. Katie’s leadership philosophy, both with her programming and advising her students, is to empower people to make choices that benefit them. I love her leadership style because anyone that works with college students knows you can’t force a college student to do something, but you can educate and guide them to make healthy choices that lead to a happier life.

Katie was someone that didn’t just talk about change, she created it. That’s why her mantra is “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” The emphasis is on ‘be’ because she is an action oriented person. I didn’t realized it at the time, but I learned that this trait would benefit the Niche Movement tremendously. After telling her about my ideas it was only a matter of time before I saw something different than many of my other conversations with supporters...I saw her take action.

When I launched The Niche Movement’s first online cohort for college students to help them find their niche, Katie Bean was one of the first colleagues to share it with her network. Not only did she promote it, but she encouraged a few of her peer educators that were juniors and seniors who were looking for some direction upon graduation to apply to this program. I can’t thank her enough for her belief in one of my first initiatives. Because of Katie’s support, four students from St. Joe’s were accepted into The Niche Movement’s program. One of her students, Nikki Uy, has an incredible story that I will share later this week.

You will have friends along the way that will listen to your ideas, share their support with you and those all great people to have around you. However, activators like Katie are game changers. She took the conversation a step further by sharing it with her students and supporting their involvement in the cohort. That kind of action-oriented support is invaluable.

Just like many of the people I have talked about, Katie has been there for Courtney and I. She played an amazing role as one of Courtney’s bridesmaids, she has helped us connect with several other colleagues in the field, and has always been there to offer positive life advice. It is great to see her genuine personality shine through in both her professional and personal world.

What They Taught Me:

Everytime I talk to Katie she shares amazing stories of how she empowered one of her students or helped a struggling student on campus better themselves. She has taught me to never give up on a student and to find an outlet where they can be empowered.

How They Inspired Me:

Having Katie as one of the first advocates of The Niche Movement has really met a lot to me and establish a name for my passion project outside of New Jersey. Her encouragement and belief, along with many others, helps me recognize that I bring value to this subject of post-graduate life.

#Nichtip:

When you are finding your niche, there will be those that are cheerleaders and those that will be activators. The activators go beyond the cheers of support and they take action in ways that will amplify your message and help you reach your goals. Katie was an activator for me. I have lots of cheerleaders, but it is the activators that continue to help make this ‘dream’ a reality. Be an activator for someone else. There are many times throughout my story where I have done that for others, and I believe that is why I have been fortunate enough to see that kindness and dedication come back to me. If you have activators around you, thank them. They are critical to your success.

Day 21 - Putting Intentionality and Effort into Your Relationships

My 30 day blogging journey is two-thirds complete and I have been amazed at the support, words of encouragement, and most importantly, the impact that I have made so far. Thank you to all of you who have read or engaged with my posts.

Since day 21 falls on a Sunday, a day to spend time with those close to you, I am introducing my in-laws into the How I Found My Niche series.

I have been very blessed to be a part of Courtney’s family since the first day I met her. Even though I am a Yankees/Giants fan and they’re die hard Eagles/Phillies fans, they have put sports aside and treat me a like a son and a brother (most of the time ;)). My mother-in-law, Colleen, is a retired guidance counselor from Freedom High School in the Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania. My father-in-law, Don is an entrepreneur who ran his own accounting firm for the last forty years in the Stroudsburg, PA area. Courtney has three brothers Kyle, Brian and Mickey and they all go by the beat of their own drum (just like Courtney).

Don and Colleen, now retired in Venice, Fl, are at the opposite end of the career path spectrum but they have taught Courtney and I many lessons to help us follow our passions. As I reflect on these lessons, it always comes back to Don and Colleen “dreaming big.” Over the last 11 years, I have seen them in their professional element where their work comes natural to them.

Colleen, prior to her retiring, was a dedicated guidance counselor loved by her students and fellow educators. I have seen her truly help her students whether it be assisting the best and brightest get into the Ivy Leagues or help students with tough circumstances get what they needed to attain their high school diploma. Colleen’s resume didn’t end when she moved to Florida. In 2013, she obtained her real estate license and partnered with a successful realtor, Judy Mazrin, and the two of them are making quite a name for themselves. See, no matter the work she is doing, Colleen has the skill to care about those around her and build long-lasting relationships.

My father-in-law Don, has a remarkable story. He grew up in Pennsylvania in the post-depression era where his family came from very little. He worked very hard to attend and graduate from Temple University where he earned an accounting degree. Don doesn’t mention it often, but he also enlisted in the marines as a way to pay for his education. For a few years, he worked for an employer, but in his early thirties, he took a leap of faith and started his own accounting firm. This firm was started the old fashion way: on a napkin and with a firm handshake with his partner. Don never looked back and grew his firm to be one of the best in the Poconos. Needless to say, Courtney and I turn to him for any finance or business advice among other things of course.

Just like I have alluded to in my Day 15 and 20 posts, many people who follow their passions can get too wrapped up and not find time for friends and family. That is not the case for Don and Colleen.  Since retiring to Florida, I’m convinced they are living a busier social life than Courtney and I. Their days are filled with golf, swimming, dinners with friends, and visitors from up north (especially, between January - March). Before they retired, they led the same lifestyle and had several pockets of friends and family they would spend time with. At the end of the day, I’m sure moving to Florida may have been tough, but they had big dreams for how they wanted to spend their retirement and so they went for it. They have done this without letting any of their relationships from ‘up north’ suffer, and that takes the intentionality and effort. Something they put into all of their relationships.

Since Courtney’s parents retired, we have grown closer to my older brother-in-law Brian Stone and his fiance’ Lauren Chamberlin. We have been lucky to find time to go out to dinner with them, visit each other’s house, and get our dogs together to play every few months. Brian followed in his father’s footsteps (while making a path of his own), as he too went to Temple and now owns his own accounting firm. He has established a well-rounded business that focuses on accounting, taxes, and also the launching of new businesses all over the east coast. Brian has the perfect balance of personality, business smarts, and street smarts to provide a service that is in-demand.

When I launched The Niche Movement in February of 2013, he and his firm helped me set-up an LLC and business registration. This among other business advice he has offered to Courtney and I has been invaluable over the last year. Not to mention, above and beyond the great business advice, Brian and Lauren are A LOT of fun!

My younger brother-in-law, Kyle also graduate from Temple in 2008 with a degree in International Business (you can see why they are all die hard philly fans!). Currently, he works for a company called Victaulic, where he is a sales rep selling couplings and piping systems to mines in Australia. Two years ago he had the opportunity to go there for a job and in typical Stone fashion, he went for it. He has a perfect mix of his parent’s traits. He has the business and street smarts from Don and has the personality to connect with anyone like Colleen. At the same time though he is adventurous, laid back and doesn't take life to seriously. When you roll these traits into one, Kyle gets a skill set that has been super successful for him. We miss Kyle a whole lot, but we love any chance we get to Facetime with him and always look forward to his visits.

How They Inspired Me:

With people like my parents, grandparents, cousins, and now in-laws in my life, I have a very well rounded set of values and skills that no matter what I do with my life, I know I will be successful. Don and Colleen have inspired me to dream big and have shown me how to maintain important relationships with friends and family. Kyle has inspired me to be adventurous and to roll with the punches. Brian has taught me that with the right skills, smarts (and good accounting advice), you can make it on your own if you’re willing to put the time and energy into it.

#NicheTip:

When finding your niche, you will need to advocate for yourself and what you want or need help with. My in-laws are a perfect example of how they balance a life of doing what makes them happy while keeping relationships close to them.

Day 20 - Running Toward Your Passion

Today I would like to introduce a couple who has found their niche and are completely following their passion: Laura Chegwidden Jacobs, a close friend of mine from high school, and her husband Joe Jacobs. Over the last three years, I have seen Laura and Joe take something they love and turn it into a career path.

In high school, Laura was part of my circle of friends that included John Gianonne (day 3 post) and Russ Bloodgood (day 7 post) and many more. She also was a star athlete who played field hockey, basketball and track. Running is in her DNA as she comes from a running family of four other siblings that all went on to run either cross country or track and field as well in both high school and college.

The same is true for Joe. Joe and his brother, Pat, ran for Butler High School. Joe then went on to run for UNC - Greensboro. After college, he knew he had to find something in the running world and was lucky to have worked with several running companies like Mizuno. That’s why Laura and Joe are perfect for each other. Running is in their lifestyle. It’s their passion, their calling. They even named their first child Miles.

Laura, being as active and disciplined as she is, went onto earn a Bachelors and Masters from Montclair State University where she played field hockey. When she graduated, she landed an amazing job at Kinnelon High School as a PE teacher. Because she had so much energy and a love for sports, she had to get into coaching. Of course, she didn’t just coach one sport, she has gone on to coach three sports: cross country, basketball and track. Let’s just say there is no rest for her from August to May, but to Laura that is ok. The thing is, is that it doesn’t feel like work and I’ve never heard her say she’s “tired of it.”

When you do something you love, success follows. For Laura, she was named North Jersey’s Cross Country Coach of the Year in 2011 and in September 2013 she organized a fundraiser with her team to raise money for Alex’s Lemonade Stand for every mile they ran. She also organizes a 5k every March to raise money for the Kinnelon Education Board - a project she initiated and does completely voluntarily.

Now Joe may love running more than Laura. As I mentioned he worked for a few running companies, but a few years ago he took a job with Sneaker Factory, an up and coming running store in New Jersey. He started from the ground up by working in their Millburn store then becoming manager of their new store in Basking Ridge in 2011. In 2013, Joe (and Laura), took took their passion for running even deeper: they went “all-in” on opening the fourth Sneaker Factory store in Florham Park, NJ. Opening up a brand new store and going into business for yourself can be a huge risk. Not for Laura and Joe though. They will succeed because of their work ethic, love for running and incredible family and friends around them.

As I mentioned in my day 15 post, the closer you get to finding your niche the more you may be pulled away from what really matters. You would think that the busy lifestyle they lead while opening a store that they would have no time for those around them. Yes, for the last six months, Joe and Laura have certainly both made sacrifices and have worked tirelessly to get this store up and running. What is even more impressive though, is that they did this all with Miles, their one year old son. They also never changed their lifestyle - they make time for their friends and family, run everyday, and more often than not you will find them competing in cycling and running races.

What They Taught Me:

Laura and Joe have taught me that with the right values you can have it all. They have found their niche and made a lifestyle out of it. Most importantly, they are succeeding at it - individually and as husband and wife. As Courtney and I start to propel our careers, I know that with people like Laura and Joe to look up to, we will be just fine and are lucky to have them as friends.

How They Inspired Me:

The best part about Laura and Joe’s story is that they took something simple that they were passionate about since high school and have made career path that they love. I have never heard them complain about their choices or the workload I’m sure they have. As I look to my future and coming closer to finding my niche, I know that with a work-ethic and mind like theirs, I can create a career out of the things I love.

#NicheTip:

Going “all-in” on your niche is certainly risky and you can read about it, watch it, and people can tell you to go for it. However, sometimes it takes seeing people close to you go for it and pull it off. Look for those in your circle that have found their niche and find ways you can pull inspiration from them to get closer to living out your passion.