leadership

See What Sticks: How Good Notes Take You to Infinity and Beyond

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note taking, pixar, creativity inc, amma marfo, student affairs, feedback Hi everyone, Amma Marfo here. Two quick things about me that you’ll need to know before we begin:

(1) I am a reader. I am a library-loving, constant tome-carrying, unapologetic bibliophile. (2) If there’s anyone you will meet who can connect what she’s reading to the world around her, it’s me.

 

As such, I want to dedicate my time in this space to sharing with you what I’m reading, and how it could inform a budding professional’s daily life. 

I am a sucker for a good read on creativity. These are the books that energize me in my day-to-day work, the ones that help me look at daily problems from a new perspective, the ideas that reassure me that my quirky take on my life aren't as isolating as they might seem. And in that reading, there are a few companies that are constantly referenced as being "the gold standard" for creatives. You've heard of these places- Apple, Facebook, Google, Twitter, and Disney/Pixar. So when people started recommending Creativity, Inc. by Ed Catmull (president of Pixar Animation), I knew I had to add it to my reading list. And sure enough, it was a wonderful read that provided me with many tips and tricks that I'm eager to employ in my own life. But the one I want to share here today, is the seventh tenet of their 7 Core principles: Give good notes.

Feedback is a funny thing. When you're new to a work environment, it is simultaneously necessary and absolutely terrifying because so much of our self-worth and vision of success is tied up in our being great. However, when you're more established and in greater need of it, it's harder to get because people "below" you in the organization may fear giving it. This pair of factors, combined with people who are largely non-confrontational by nature, and we're left with either empty and nonspecific platitudes, or emotionally-charged criticism that may overstep the boundaries of work. Pixar has worked for years to create a feedback system devoid of those two scourges of honest feedback, through what they call their "Braintrust," or a group of directors and advisors that watch rough cuts of films as they come together and provide the feedback needed to transform these sketches into the blockbusters we know and love like Toy Story or Finding Nemo.

Catmull eloquently addresses the fear of failure that comes with sharing a new idea in Creativity, Inc.:

From a very early age, the message is drilled into our heads: Failure is bad; failure means you didn't study or prepare; failure means you slacked off or- worse!- aren't smart enough to begin with. Thus, failure is something to be ashamed of. This perception lives on long into adulthood, even in people who have learned to parrot the oft-repeated ideas about the upside of failure [...] And yet, even as they nod their heads in agreement, many readers [...] still have the emotional reaction that they had as children. They just can't help it. That early experience of shame is too deep-seated to erase. (emphasis added)

I believe that Catmull used the word shame in the final sentence intentionally, and for an interesting reason. Helping scholar Brené Brown makes a clear distinction between guilt (a bad feeling that results from a bad action) and shame (a bad feeling that results from being a bad person). Too often, mistakes or missteps are framed to make us feel shame, when we should really feel guilt. Guilt, in most cases, comes from a temporary state, where shame is designed to come from a more permanent one. But our ideas aren't us, and the failure of an idea shouldn't be equated to us being failures. Pixar's "brain trust" was designed to divorce the two and truly concentrate on developing ideas without shaming the idea's developers. They do this by embracing candor, believing in iteration, and leaving freedom of solution. If you inject these tenets into your feedback-giving process, you're more likely to create space for development without creating offense or judgment.

Embracing Candor: Catmull is quick to point out that most ideas suck at the beginning. More to the point, he says most Pixar movies suck when the first ideas are shared. The sooner this is embraced, the better. Few ideas are perfect on the first pass; even if they appear to be, as they develop problems will start to surface. Being able to speak up to refine the ideas, without criticizing the person or people presenting them, is a gift to anyone invested in making the idea work. And when we smooth over flaws with "Great work!" or "It's...good!" we rob people of the ability to make their ideas the best they could be. Anyone invested in creating a good product (as the thousands of people who work at Pixar undoubtedly are) needs candor, or their work will go toward a less than stellar idea. Nobody wants that.

Believe in Iteration: I have written previously about how general praise, devoid of customization or specificity, isn't particularly helpful and at its worst can be patronizing. A necessary element of this is being able to give actionable criticism. Telling somebody what they've done wrong isn't particularly helpful if there's no way for them to improve upon it. I tell the students I work with often, "I can't do anything about 'this sucks.'" But if I know more about the experience they're struggling with, what the problem is, and what they'd prefer to see, I can work with something of a road map in front of me, as opposed to the veritable game of Marco Polo that the phrase "this sucks" is providing. When you give feedback, give it in such a way that the person receiving this information can realistically go back and try again with some idea of what needs to be fixed. 

Allow for Freedom of Solution: With that said, your feedback doesn't always have to provide the solution within it; in fact, Pixar believes that the power of the Braintrust's feedback is that they don't prescribe a solution for the problems they identify. In fact, the director and his staff don't even have to address the notes that are given in these meetings. I believe that this is the strongest element of the Braintrust. The key part of the concept is that second word: trust. When we bring people on to a team, we have to trust that they know what they're doing and that they arrived in their positions for a reason. So if problems present themselves, we have to trust that they have the expertise and judgment to attack these issues and come to a feasible solution. There have been times that this strategy has failed at Pixar, and they do have mechanisms to address that. But for the most part, the people who come in with ideas are equipped to solve their own problems, if given the space and faith to do so. Think similarly of the people you work with.

Most of our ideas will not garner the audience that those of Ed Catmull and his team do. But they are just as deserving of a respectful and constructive process by which to develop them. Anyone interested in a feedback process that is (literally) award-winning should check out Creativity, Inc for some of the best reading on creativity, and how to productively harness it, I've done this year.

The Secret Trick to Confidence: A Good Pair of Heels, Yoga and Billy Joel

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By definition from the Miriam-Webster dictionary confidence sounds like a great word, but what is it? How does one achieve confidence and continue to be confident in their job search or their career?

These are questions I asked myself for a very long time. Confidence, to gain confidence and to continue to be confident takes time, patience and practice.

1con·fi·dence

noun \ˈkän-fə-dən(t)s, -ˌden(t)s\

: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something

: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something

: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true

It's Still Rock and Roll to Me

I was inspired on August 7, 2014. Not only was I in the audience of a sold out concert of a legend, but my wheels were turning and I knew I had to blog about it. The concert I am talking about is Billy Joel. The evening started off with Gavin DeGraw opening for Billy and getting the audience pumped up. It might have been the vibe of the audience or the music in general, but Gavin DeGraw spoke about an experience he had that I left the show saying to myself, WOW he has confidence! Gavin spoke about being a young kid, early teen years seeing Billy Joel for the first time and after the show telling his father that he wants to be like Billy Joel one day. His father’s response was spot on and his father said, you will be some day. Now years later Gavin is sharing this story as he himself is cheering on the legend from backstage.

Then, Billy came on, and throughout the show he said 3-4 times "THIS IS THE BEST JOB" while hitting a few piano keys, but for Billy Joel you can tell his career is more than a job, it is a passion he has and continues to share with the world and what got him to where he is today….confidence!

How do you gain confidence? And how does Billy Joel and Gavin DeGraw fit into this post. Well, they can be looked at as roles models, mentors and well they both are successful in their own ways and they got to where they are with confidence- it is a given that a musicians life isn’t that glamorous and they have struggled just like the rest of us but they both have kept their confidence and to hear Billy Joel say several times I LOVE MY JOB, it made me want to scream it back at him.

A VERY girly comment.. but it's what works...

My confidence starts with a pair of heels and a great pair of earrings. Sounds silly when I think about it, but I have these heels that when I put them on I feel unstoppable. My earrings are my accessory, I love earrings and when I look in the mirror and admire the set I am wearing that day I know I can take on the world. I recently read an article on Forbes.com about Increasing Your Confidence. The article listed 4 great insights on how to be your confident self every day, such as:

Prepare Early, Deeply and Often- the more you prepare yourself for any task the more confident you are.

Commit to Continual Skills Development – always look for new ways to learn new skills and gain new knowledge, the world is evolving, evolve with it.

Mentally Rehearse Being Confident Daily – give yourself positive reinforcement daily, you’ll see a change in your confidence in just 1 week.

Stay Fit – staying fit helps you feel confident both mentally and physically.

Just a little sweat

"The truth is, life is our canvas – so we must make living our art. And this is our journey and our journey alone. It is our path and no-one else’s and as such we must have the confidence to embrace the experiences that shape us and faith in a plan fit for just the right purpose; ours."

-Katherine Smith

photo 1 (2)Staying fit was a great take away for me as I am lover of hot yoga and exercise in general. My journey into hot yoga began in January when I joined a worldwide community of girls and women of all ages who wanted to create a healthy lifestyle for themselves. This journey is Tone It Up. Since I started my change to a healthier lifestyle I have spoken with, been motivated by and inspired to workout daily and try to new things. My new thing became hot yoga and every class I continue to learn something new. The relaxation, the learning how to control your breath and the accomplishment plus a little sweat.. well a lot of sweat by the end of the class gives me that extra boost of confidence to be the best I can be. Yoga allows me to break out of my comfort zone, create a space around me that clears my mind of all stress and what the day entailed and just to start new. It allows me to be confident within and I know it shows without. Check out a great article about yoga and confidence here.

  • Let’s continue this discussion on confidence as we all can learn from each other.

What gives you confidence?

A Paint Brush And Work Gloves Helped Me Find My Niche

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I am no expert, but I am a young professional, and I found my niche! My niche is my passions, my happiness and how I turned my interests in volunteering and philanthropy into a career. Currently, I am the Foundation Associate for The Provident Bank Foundation. Getting to this place in my career has had ups and downs, but every day I walk into my office I know I am where I need to be. I have always enjoyed being that sounding board to family and friends, giving advice when I could or just an ear to listen to. I liked helping people, making a difference whenever I could. This is a part of me that has been in my blood for as long as I can remember and a quality I think I’ll never lose.

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My adventure into the non-profit sector and corporate foundation:

My journey to get where I am today took hard work, mentors and influencers and self-motivation. I wanted to give up so many times and take the easy way out but through networking, talking to the right people and pushing myself, I was able to get through the tough challenges life through at me. My network started small with personal connections, such as my parents and some teachers and tutors who truly believed in me. They all gave me the push to step outside of my comfort zone and get my hands dirty. Spring semester of my sophomore year at Fairleigh Dickinson University, I got onto a plane with a few dozen other college students from across the country and landed in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Spending a week in the gulf coast and seeing the devastation made by Hurricane Katrina changed my life. I was in disbelief on how Mother Nature can be so beautiful but can take everything away in seconds. I returned from my first Alternative Spring Break with the determination to graduate with a degree and experience I can use for my future. I jumped on any opportunity to volunteer or take on an internship at a local non-profit. I graduated with a Bachelor in Communication Studies and ready to take on the world.

My next adventure didn’t happen the way I had imagination and I ran into a few forks in the road, but ultimately it was those forks that got me to where I am. As motivated and determined as I was to find my perfect job at 21 years old it did not work that way. I started working part-time at local public relations firms focused on women’s health. I was overall happy I had some type of job after I graduated but it wasn’t what kept me motivated. I still kept my head high as much as I could, continued to connect with those in my network of mentors and kept on looking for the job that got me excited. I decided to apply to grad school and hope it would open more opportunities for me. Luck was on my side; during my time studying for the GRE’s a door did eventually open. For the next two and a half years, while going to grad school Rutgers University School of Public Affairs and Administration I worked at a few different New Jersey based non-profits. It was during my first semester at Rutgers I went to a networking event where I had the opportunity to listen to Nancy Lublin, CEO of Dosomething.org and Founder of Dress for Success and Adam Braun, Founder of Pencils of Promise. Both of their stories are very different but they found their niche and impacted the world in ways unimaginable. I was drawn into their stories and influenced by their words. It was after the event I went back to my everyday life and knew I was heading in the right direction and maybe one day I am able to share my story on how I changed the world.

This networking event was just the beginning for me; I was like a sponge, taking in all the knowledge and advice from anyone I spoke to in the non-profit sector. I made sure I had the skills, commitment and expertise in this field to be as professional as possible. I aspire to do something great every day, not because I need to or it’s the “right thing to do”. It was a choice that became a passion that turned into my day-to-day.

Corporate..not a negative word!

I never really put two and two together on corporate philanthropy or corporate foundations. I only saw and thought “the corporate world”, this negative working world and said to myself I do not want to be a part of that. However, I was at this point in my life that I felt I can use my skill sets for better use, I needed new challenges and overall wanted to make my way up the ladder in my career. I again, stepped out of my comfort zone, broadened my job search and came across The Provident Bank Foundation. The job description and responsibilities sounded exciting, challenging and rewarding, I was hooked and knew this was the job for me. Working for the Foundation has been not only awe-inspiring, but working for a financial institution that is so committed to the community is encouraging and motivating and makes my day-to-day work worthy.

I found my niche in philanthropy and the non-profit sector but I am still a young professional and still have new knowledge to gain, skill-sets to learn and dreams to make come true. I still volunteer when I can, network at every opportunity that comes my way and try to influence other young professionals and the younger generations to find their happiness and their niche. My goals are to someday make that life changing difference, but for now I can just share my story, advocate my passions and help others throughout the community.

Over the past year working at The Provident Bank Foundation has been an amazing eye opener to how a foundation can make an impact to the community. Every day brings about new stories, new challenges and successes. My niche is my adventure in the non-profit sector and I could not be any happier.

Your homework:

I leave you with a task- volunteer! It does not matter if you are able to commit to once a month, once a week or only a few times a year. As young professionals, volunteering gives you so many opportunities to network. You not only make a difference in your community but you meet a variety of people, from different walks of life and you never know who or what their connections are. I welcome you to reach out to me and happy to network with you.

 

Silencing the Negativity to Unleash Greatness

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Imagine what we would all accomplish if we didn’t listen to the negative voices in our head. You know, that part of the brain that feels like the guy looking in from the outside and just spouting off negative commentary like “you can’t do it”, “you’ll never be good enough”, or “you’re bad at that.” For me, my subconscious gets the best of me. I grew up thinking I was shy, letting my parents tell people I was shy, letting everyone believe it (including me) mainly because I had that little voice telling me I was just a shy kid. I used the word shy as a crutch to mask the voices in my head telling me that what I have to say or share “isn’t good enough”, “it won’t resonate with the people around you” or “people are going to judge you.” I have had these experiences all too often in both my childhood and adult life.

Until now.

Since September 2013, I wanted to share a 30 day blogging series of how I found my niche. However, between my subconscious holding me back from sharing some of my most personal experiences, mixed with a touch of procrastination and hectic schedule, I kept putting it off. Whether you have been following along or not, from January 2013 thru May 2014, I have accomplished a lot of great things with The Niche Movement that I am proud of including:

- building a contributing editor base and community of movers and shakers,

- hosting several #NicheStory interviews,

- providing workshops and keynotes for schools like Steven’s Tech, University of Illinois and not to mention a TEDx talk this past winter,

-  growing a tribe that has reached 1,500 unique views per month to The Niche Movement website.

There was something still missing and my subconscious was holding me back. Over this entire 18 month journey questions like “am I good enough?” or “will people care what I have to say?” all too frequently popped into my head.

Today, July 8th 2014, I can say those questions can be put to rest.

How did I get here though? It wasn’t some magical pill or quick fix. It started with a conversation with my good friend Stacy Rinaldi Campesii. Stacy and I worked together at Centenary College where I also attended graduate school in 2006-2008. Stacy also works in students affairs but the one thing we have in common is our passion for leadership.

When I met Stacy, she had recently been hired as the Coordinator of First Year Programs and led a group of first year student instructors at Centenary College. She was a great mentor to her students, and created processes and programs that were innovative and engaging. However, her role at Centenary was only a stepping stone that led to a greater vision that I have been so fortunate to see unfold.

Since she left her job at Centenary in 2009, her and her husband Chris took new jobs and moved outside of Washington, DC. She has held two different jobs in education, but there was still something missing. This past fall, Stacy decided to push her comfort zone and start taking classes to receive a certification and become a professional life coach.

Courtney and I have visited with Stacy and Chris quite a few times over the last year, but the trip we had to DC over Memorial Day weekend is where Stacy unleashed her new knowledge of being a life coach and put her passion for leadership to the test.

The subject: me.

Over dinner at their house, we started with our usual small talk, sharing recent stories about our dogs and quickly moving onto the unfulfilling stories of both of our jobs. Sure enough The Niche Movement came up and I politely shared some modest updates, but was still not super excited to be talking about it. That’s when Stacy’s life coach hat was put on and started asking some powerful questions.

See before this conversation, I always had a limited view of my work with The Niche Movement that if I took this “full time” I wouldn’t succeed or I would not be able to make a living from it. Since I was a junior in college, in Professor Singh’s class, I would always tell myself I wanted to be an entrepreneur. But, I never believed I had it in me to actually do it.

Through Stacy’s questions and advice, we started to identify my vision and what I value. Stacy helped me start to recognize that I need to be in an environment where I can carry out my own vision. I also started to realize that a lot of my values like being flexible, honest, hard working, genuine, authentic, autonomy, leadership, and loyal didn’t match up to my current environments. Too often than not, I didn’t believe in myself or stick up for my vision. I also realized that I was making a lot of assumptions in life. Those voices in my head would comment on an interaction with a friend or colleague and always make me think the worst of the situation. I can’t tell you how great it feels to not let those assumptions control me anymore.

I left that conversation with a refreshed look on life and The Niche Movement. I had motivation and drive like I have never had before. I decided that now more than ever is the best time to start writing everyday and put myself out there. Throughout my life, especially the last 8-10 years, I’ve had so many great people around me that I needed to thank and share how they influenced me.

Stacy, is by far one of the biggest catalyst for every post that I have published since June 5th. Since our talk in May, she has continued to encourage me and help lay out a very detailed plan for me to be able to listen to my own advice and achieve my own happiness. Stacy has helped quiet my subconscious to the point where I now feel invincible. Prior to this, there has only been a handful of times in my professional and personal life where I have felt this way. With her help, I felt like this since May 24th and I don’t see it going away anytime soon.

Tomorrow, you will read my 30th blog post that will reveal how I found my niche and how I am going to achieve my own happiness.

What they taught me:

Stacy has taught me how to silence the negative voices and comments I was creating in my own subconscious. By teaching me how to cope with this she has unlocked great potential I never knew I had. Stacy has also taught me that it’s ok to talk it out. We have this culture that makes you feel shameful for talking things out with someone. Particularly, men are told to keep their mouths shut and keep it in. My experience with Stacy has taught me that it is much better to let things out.

How they inspired me:

I always knew Stacy was a rockstar, but it wasn’t until she found her passion in coaching that I got to see her true potential. Not only is she teaching me how to better handle my negative assumptions, but she is inspiring me by showing me what happens when you match your skills with the right career.

#NicheTip:

I’ve said it plenty of times, the whole career development process from job searching to dealing with colleagues to getting the next promotion, it is not easy. We often go at it alone, and when we are alone we are more prone to the negative thoughts creeping in telling us we’re not good enough. If you want to live the life you love in the career you love, you need to be open to getting help. Whether it’s getting help on a project or finding a helpful listener, seeking help is not just ok it’s recommended.

 

Day 23 - 3 Ways to Tell Your Story in a Noisy World

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Screen Shot 2014-07-01 at 9.03.54 PM In yesterday’s day 22 post, I talked about cheerleaders (supporters) vs activators (take action and share a message) and the role they play in spreading a movement. The three people I am about to introduce in today’s post will attest to the importance of activators in each of their initiatives.

First, let me start by introducing Noah Rosenberg, the founder of Narratively, whohad an idea to slow down storytelling and go against the grain to focus on the untold human stories and not the next big headline. I met Noah in January 2013, during a weekend retreat where we both were invited to help Rutgers’ students develop their Ignite talks (a 5 minute speech with auto advancing slides) for an upcoming leadership conference. Noah had a passion and skill set for finding stories and was a huge asset to help these eight students craft their message they would then deliver in front of 200 of their peers.

When Noah and I connected to discuss both of our initiatives, I remember the first impression I had of him (and Narratively) was sleek and simple. His business card stood out because it was well designed, clean, and printed on a matte card that was thicker than usual. Come to find out, that design carried over to Narratively’s approach to storytelling as well as their website (it was selected as one of the Top 50 Websites in TIME magazine.)  His calm, but passionate demeanor about storytelling was magnetic. Everything about him made me realize he had found his niche. I knew his skills and journey to finding his niche could impact young adults so I followed up to invite him to be our first “Tell Us Your Story” (now #NicheStory) guest.

With no questions asked, Noah agreed and we hosted our first 30 minute google hangout interview where he shared his ‘post-collegiate’ journey. Noah had a love for journalism, but after working for several large news outlets like CBS and the New York Times, it was time for him to follow his dreams and start Narratively. The best advice he shared during our interview is that “you can network from behind your computer, but it doesn’t compare to being out in the real world meeting people.

Now that I had one #NicheStory interview down, I had to follow it up with someone who was just as dynamic and had a compelling story in their “post-graduate” life. Luckily, in February 2013, I was introduced to Michael DuDell when I attended a conference at Rutgers. Since college, Michael has built quite a name for himself. He has worked with Seth Godin on the Domino Project, is a TEDx speaker, entrepreneur, and author of the official Shark Tank book that was released in November 2013.

When I interviewed him for The Niche Movement, Michael’s message to Gen Y is that they need to find a career that moves them and that the number one skill employers are looking for is a good “attitude.” Since our interview, Michael has befriended both Courtney and I, and has been an invaluable link in moving our careers forward. He has graciously done everything from introducing us to several other colleagues in his network to hosting my student media team last August in his office at WeWork in New York City. In the last 18 months, having the pleasure of knowing Michael, I have realized he is a connector who wants to see people that are making a name for themselves succeed - especially Gen Y.

Last, I need to introduce one of the most engaging speakers I have heard speak in a long time: Dawn Fraser. Dawn, is a speaker, humorist, and like Noah and Michael, a storyteller. She is also the host and creator of BarberShop stories. Dawn and I met after I heard her speak at a leadership conference that Courtney organized in the winter of 2013 at Rutgers.

Dawn believes every college student has a story to tell, but it’s how you tell it that matters. Whether it is a storytelling 101 workshop or learning how to sell your message, I have seen Dawn deliver high impact presentations.

When I launched my six week cohort in the spring of 2013, one of the sessions was about ‘telling your story’. After meeting Dawn at Rutgers, I reached out to her a few weeks later and mentioned that one of my students in the cohort wanted to improve her storytelling and interview her. Without hesitation, Dawn agreed and ran a 45 minute online workshop for my cohort - this was an amazing add-on benefit she added to my program. In the last year, Dawn has grown her brand, delivered several presentations nationwide, and I was lucky to connect with her again when we both spoke at the first WOW Talks event held in New Jersey in November 2013.

What They Taught Me:

Noah, Michael, and Dawn have taught me that if you have a vision and a platform, you can spread your story with the world. All three of these amazing individuals have taken a unique path to get to where they are today, but they have capitalized on their past experiences - something I have been reflecting on during this entire 30 day journey. They also taught me, that the majority people out there are caring people, especially those that have found their niche. I took a chance to follow up and reach out to all of them, and they more than willingly all said yes to be activators for the Niche Movement’s launch.

How They Inspired Me:

Like I have alluded to, they all have been more than generous with their time, but they share the same vision: to see twenty-somethings lead a happy life after college. At a young age, they have certainly made a name for themselves, but I know it is just the beginning for Noah, Dawn, and Michael. They all share very similar personality and values that align with who I am and I know that with hard work and following my passion, I can accomplish great things like they have so far.

Noah, thank you being our first guest, for sharing your passion for genuine storytelling, and excellent advice to twenty-somethings.

Michael, thank you for your advice, for your brilliant personality, and for always willing to help Courtney and I out in our journey.

Dawn, you have been an very gracious with your time and have been a true inspiration as I grow The Niche Movement. Thank you for being an amazing speaker and for truly caring about young adults telling their story.

#NicheTip:

Whether you are just starting college or just graduated and making it in the real world, find time to reflect on your stories. Somewhere down the road, they will be invaluable stories that you will share on interviews, with your friends, and family. With today’s technology and noise, it is especially important to find creative ways to spread your story. Michael, Noah, and Dawn are a perfect example, I suggest you connect with them.