Where is my next paycheck coming from?
IDK (Long-term, I'm not sure. I can only keep putting myself out there and taking chances.)
Will this meeting lead to anything?
IDK (And if it doesn't, I need to be ok with that.)
Does my work matter?
IDK (Deep down inside and long term I know it does, but sometimes I'm my own worst critic.)
Do people get what I do and how to utilize my expertise?
IDK (Am I too all over the place? Do people understand I'm a multi-passionate person/entrepreneur?)
Am I on the right path?
IDK (Boy, I hope so. But I'm 33, I can always start over, right?)
Why do I worry?
IDK (But man, I wish I could stop or shut off the "lizard" brain sometimes.)
Am I cut out to be my own boss, grow a movement, play in the arena, help others tell their story?
IDK (Well, too late Kev, you're already doing it. #KeepGoing)
Why do I question myself or my next steps?
IDK (Is this normal for an entrepreneur? For everyone?)
Should I have left a full-time job?
IDK (Question 1 above - sure I could be making more money short term but I'm looking for long-term value, wealth, freedom, overall happiness in life.)
Should I believe in myself and keep going no matter what happens?
See, the wise saying of Steve Job's "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." has never held more true than at this exact moment, on Wednesday afternoon at 3:47pm August 10, 2016.
I've been in the arena, (thanks, Brene Brown) what sometimes feels all by myself for 22 months on the on the road of entrepreneurship.
Twenty-two months that has brought me: joy, freedom, smiles, laughs, relationships, strength, new knowledge, a book, a team, friends, stories that needed to be told, people that needed help, and plenty of comfort-zone -pushing.
Oh yes, the good ole push outside your comfort zone. There has been plenty of that - whether it is making me a better person, I'm not sure but my hunch is that it is.
But all of the fantastic upsides of leaving security and jumping into the arena comes with a lot of uncertainty, doubt, lack of trust, loneliness, times that leave you feeling sucked dry and unmotivated (even when there is a mountain of "things" you could/should be doing).
I've realized patience, timing, discipline, reassurance and luck is just as important as hard work and knowing your strengths.
And let me back up to patience.
We live in a society and in a time where we want instant gratification. We want it now - faster and cheaper.
For ourselves, from our boss, for our team, from our friends and partners.
Wanting "it" (insert whatever your it is) takes time. So, take a deep breath and tell yourself, this will all workout, just have patience.
There are so many people that I've met in my 33 years of being alive that I never thought I would talk to again. Never thought I would bump into in the first place. Never expected an email to come into my inbox 9 months later. A yes when I thought for sure it was a no. I've also met plenty of people that have come and gone.
In an age of ease of comparison and the glamor life we portray on social media, it's' easy to doubt ourselves. Or say "when is it my turn" or when will I find happiness (whatever that means to you).
Listen up: I'll admit it,, I don't know what's next. I don't have it all figured out. I'm riding the roller coaster and all I can say is I had some great climbs, reached a few peaks, but I've also come down just as fast. But roller coasters have to go back up, it just may take a little bit more time than coming down.
So, strap in. Start your climb to your first peak (that may take longer that you thought). But do me a favor, get in line for the front seat. Because if you're unsure what's next, at least you'll see it coming and experience "it" first.
Whew, I needed to get this out of my brain. What I really want to say is myself and The Niche Movement are here for you - whoever you are. I've received so many messages in this community recently and it means the world. But I want to let you all know I'm figuring "it" out just like many of us. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org and you can connect with me on snapchat, twitter, or instagram at @koco83 at any time.
If this resonated with you at all, please share with your point of view or with someone that needs to read it.